I seriously need someone to confide in.
Preferably, an adult, or a kid youth with a high level of maturity.

My hormones are going wild. Very, very wild.
I see any good-looking guy, and deep down inside I go, "He's so hot! *Smile dreamily*"

I'm trying to tell myself that whatever I'm experiencing now, it's only a strong liking and that he's simply my eye candy (Just like what Alfreda said).
But I can't. I can't stop myself from looking at him during service
(By the way, I'm trying to refrain from looking at him all the time)
Also, I couldn't make it too obvious because I was with Jolene. And if Jolene knows, she'll screw the whole thing and start telling everyone about my strong liking. Precisely why I say Jolene's a complete kid who doesn't think much before responding. Immature, but quite cute at times, to be honest.

What I thought was that he was simply my strong liking. But that was when I was instructed to distribute the Holy Communion. I had to pass the damn drink to him.

I told myself, "Take it easy, Kaely. It's just a drink. Pass it to him and get lost, 'else.. I'm an ass"
But no, I couldn't. When I was next to him, my heart kept beating at a really, really fast rate.
Faster, faster, faster, faster, faster, faster, *Out of control*

I wanted to scream out loud. Really loud. Really, really loud.
But I couldn't, like duh.

I can't take my eyes off him. I feel like a desperate whore. I can't stop thinking of his shirtless photo. I'm going to drool anytime. And I had to force a smile in front of Jolene after service and start acting like a bitch. *grumble*

When I got home from church, I tried means and ways to forget everything.
I can't use my examinations as an excuse to stop myself 'cos it's quite clear to me that my examinations are O-V-E-R. I buried my face into my pillow and tried to make myself sleep.
But again, I couldn't. So here I am, venting my anger on my blog, again.

Two sentences from the lyrics of a song entitled- Crush (The song I'm really into now) sung by David Archuleta reminds me of the situation now.

Cause the possibility, that you would ever feel the same way about me

Why do I keep running from the truth? All I ever think about is
you.
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized